I’ve been going out a lot.
Apparently Halloween in New York is kind of a big deal. People celebrate that shit for like a week. So there have been a lot of parties. Some good, some not so much.
Last Friday I went to a Shabbat dinner with around 100 people. It was pretty chill and I met a lot of people.
I mentioned before that I bought a product from RSD called Social Circle Blueprint 2.0. Basically this is a course on picking up girls that actually tries to teach you to create a social life for yourself instead of just being a creepy PUA who hits on girls in shopping malls.
The idea is that you actually turn yourself into a cool guy by crafting a cool life for yourself. Like a normal person.
For some reason this is a revolutionary concept in the pickup community, which generally comes from a frame of “I’m not cool so I need to do all this weird shit to get a girl.”
This course, however, teaches you practical concepts to create a cool life for yourself which just happens to include having lots of hot girls in it.
For example, one of the things the guy talks about is to create events that will attract the types of people that you want in your life. Photoshoots, brunches, vacations in other countries… shit like that. Basically the idea is that you triangulate the whole process by telling each person that you want to invite that you already have the other people and then put it all together at the end.
In other words, let’s say you want to have a photoshoot at a mansion.
- A nice location for the photoshoot
You approach the photographers and say that you already have the models and the location.
You tell the models you already have the photographers and the location.
And you tell the location that you already have the photographers and the models.
Then you just pick a date and time and tell everyone to show up. That’s kind of oversimplifying it a bit but you get the idea.
The cool thing is that you can apply this kind of logic to all types of deals, not just your social life. In fact, a lot of people use this strategy in the business world by promising things that they don’t have yet and then when the other party accepts the offer, they find a way to make it happen.
Strangely enough, we never really apply this kind of thinking to our social lives. We just kind of bumble around and take what we can get.
I’m still new at this and have no idea what I’m doing, so at this Shabbat dinner I was trying to get a bunch of people together to go to brunch. I talked to a few people who were interested but long story short, they weren’t exactly the type of people I’d want to go have brunch with. Although now that I think about it, maybe I should have just done it anyway.
Another way to use this is to try and get free bottle service at nightclubs or comp dinners at fancy restaurants. You tell the club/restaurant that you’re going to bring 10 hot girls and that you want to eat and drink for free. Some will agree and some won’t, but that’s just business.
It’s all a bit confusing and overwhelming when you’re first starting out, but at least I’ve started to bring these things up in random conversation with people.
Another great thing about the course is that it tells you to specifically define what you want and then figure out what you need to make it happen. Again, sounds fucking obvious but for some reason none of us actually do this when we’re planning something.
One of the reasons I even bought this course in the first place is because RSD Luke (the guy teaching the course) has a background as a software programmer and I know from my several attempts at trudging through a coding bootcamp that they think in a very systematic “problem solving” sort of way.
The beautiful thing that Luke has done is that he’s applied this mode of thinking to pickup and has come up with an extremely efficient system for creating a fun social life for yourself that can get you into the most exclusive clubs, networking with high status guys, and of course put you around the most beautiful women in the world.
This ISN’T really a course that teaches you how to go to some shitty dive bar and take a girl home or how to run daygame at the train station. Nothing against those courses, but when you compare it to this style of game it just seems so inefficient. I’d rather build the actual life for myself, get free bottle service, do cool shit and get free meals than just spin my wheels in some public park doing cold approaches.
ANYWAY… one thing that I realized is that I go to way too many Jewish events. They’re great to kind of warm yourself up at the beginning of the night, but there are a few problems with them:
- It’s a lot of the same people over and over
- You do have some hot girls, but the place isn’t full of them (nothing like a high end nightclub)
- Too many religious or semi-religious people there who aren’t really into having fun (they have real jobs and shit)
If I was trying to put together a Shabbat dinner or a Kabbalah class, these events would be great. But if I’m trying to source hot girls to go have boozy brunch with me this Sunday, it’s less likely that all of them would be down. You still do get some who are down, but overall not as many.
If I somehow managed to get into a high end nightclub, it’s much more likely that I could find 10 girls who wanted to come out with me the following week for a comped dinner at Mastros and chill at a table with a couple bottles of Grey Goose.
The beautiful thing is that in this course, Luke teaches you how to contact these people, what to say to them, how to bond quickly with them and how to get them on your side.
Theoretically I could do all the work myself, become a nightclub promoter and just try to make money from it that way. But overall it would be better to just connect the promoters with the girls and let them work it out, then I can just benefit from making the introduction. Once you introduce enough people to someone that they want to meet, they’re going to get the idea that you’re a connector and have that shit on tap.
It being Halloween week, I’ve gone out 4 of 5 days. Granted, most of those days have been crappy Jewish events where everyone knows each other, but it’s still been good practice for me to get out of the house and get my mouth moving.
Saturday for example, there was a charity party run by this girl I met while I was in Tel Aviv. The party was kind of shit, but there were 400 people there and it was a good opportunity to practice something else I learned in the course: the 50 open drill.
Anyone who has read about pickup knows that there is this thing called “approach anxiety.” This is that feeling you get when you see a hot girl or group of girls and you lock up. You want to go talk to them, but your mind starts racing with all the reasons why you shouldn’t. She’s with her friends, she’s talking to someone, she’s on her phone, she’s facing the wrong angle… blah blah blah.
So the 50 open drill is designed to get you out of your head and start doing shit. I tried it at this party and it was… interesting.
The idea is that you keep your interactions short: 5-10 seconds max. I didn’t find this out until later, so I was getting stuck in all kinds of stupid conversations with people I didn’t really want to talk to. You’re really just supposed to throw out comments like: “Hey cool shoes, keep it up,” and “Hey I’m @yallapapi, have a good night.”
Dumb shit like that. The point isn’t to get into conversations with people. The point is to create social proof in the venue as someone who knows everyone and is friendly.
The whole point of this course is to create an air of status about yourself. In the beginning, you have no status so it will kind of be fake. But after you talk to 50 people or sets of people in the venue, you’re going to know a ton of them and it’ll be much easier to re-open them later in the night. That’s the idea, at least.
What ended up happening with me is that I’d get stuck in conversations with people for too long. Even a minute is too long here.
Add to that the fact that I painted my face like the Joker and was wearing a full length fur coat that I bought at a vintage clothing store, and people were a little wary of my friendliness. These are not hardcore partiers after all. They’re a bunch of nerdy Jews who all know each other.
The crazy thing was that even the people that I knew barely recognized me. Some of them did, but I would say about 50% of them didn’t. So that made things a little awkward. In fact, the whole fucking experience was awkward. Running around talking to a bunch of people who didn’t want to talk to me, dressed like an idiot with my entire face painted. It was awkward and kind of terrible.
But you know what’s cool about that? I realized that this shit isn’t a fucking big deal at all. I would realize later that I was playing on hard mode, and you know that when you play on hard mode it’s much easier to play on easy mode later on. And you learn more from your losses than your wins.
Not that the night was a total disaster. I still had some good conversations and made some new friends. I don’t think I got through the entire 50 opens. After a few times crashing and burning it becomes harder to continue with the drill. The venue itself wasn’t particularly large either, so it’s not like I could get lost in the crowd and wander off to an area where nobody else knew who I was. But it was still good practice.
And the fucking face paint… Jesus Christ that’ll be the last time I ever do that shit. Not only did I cover my beautiful face, but as the night went on I wanted nothing more than to scratch my nose, only to pull my hand away and see a smudge of white paint on it. Gross.
Forgot to mention something: the night before, we’d actually gone to two dinners. My friend Billy is cool like that, always knows 3-4 events we can go to on a given night. This other dinner was cool too. Bit of a strange crowd and only around 15 people there. Was vibing with a few of the girls there and exchanged a few contact details, but I think I have some kind of success barrier where I never follow up even when I can tell the girls are super down.
The problem with following up is that I don’t want to waste time and money on a date with this girl just to maybe have sex with her. The ideal situation here is a same night lay, but I haven’t quite figured out how to get them back to my apartment from across town. Need to come up with some plausible reasons. Food? Drinks? I can figure it out.
One of the proposed solutions to this in SCBP 2.0 is the container event. This is basically a group date where you invite all of the girls you’ve been meeting over the days/weeks/months to something where you don’t have to actually meet with them individually. The best part is that this aligns nicely with the strategy I talked about above with the comp dinners and free bottles. As long as you can get the right people (aka super hot girls and high status guys) to come to the event, then you’re golden.
But are you going to meet them at a Jewish event on a Tuesday evening? Probably not.
Are you going to meet them at a high end nightclub at an exclusive table? Yes.
The issue I’m having is that I’m using these Jewish events as a crutch for a few reasons:
- I don’t have the right clothes for high end clubs and have been resistant to buying them
- I don’t have proper wingmen for the clubs who are willing to hit them up every night
- My club/table game is weak (nonexistent is more like it) and haven’t sacked up to actually do it
Jewish events, on the other hand, are just so much easier. My friend coordinates everything and we go together. The problem is that we’re not taking advantage of it properly. This past week I’ve been trying to seed my own events that I want to do with random people that I meet. And it’s not that the people I meet aren’t interested, I’m just not following up. I should, I just haven’t been.
I’m not sure why. Laziness? Because I’ve never done it before and have no idea what I’m doing? Not believing it can actually be done? Maybe a little of all three.
All that said, Halloween week has been a nice little jumpstart to this whole process. I’ve got an appointment with one of the main hosts at a top club here in NYC who thinks I’m going to bring some crypto billionaire to get some tables.
The idea is that you email the clubs ahead of time, tell them that you have a high end client who is interested in booking something but that you want to get a tour of the place first. You then use that opportunity to 1) get in the club without paying, 2) meet and bond with as many people from the staff as possible for future social proof.
Then, when you go to the club the next time, you already know 5-10 high level people at the club and can high five/chest bump them or whatever so that you look like a cool person. Ideally you’ll also have a short conversation with them where you can bond over commonalities (“you’re from LA? Me too!”) so they’ll remember you later on and be more receptive to giving you information and introducing you to key players in the venue.
Not to say these Jewish events are all bad. Last night for example, I went to some rich lady’s house where the CEO of some $5 billion company gave a talk about how he saved the firm after 9/11. I don’t remember the dude’s name or the name of the company but apparently it was a big deal. He talked about how over 600 people were killed on 9/11 from his company and how it took him 3 years to rebuild everything.
There were about 50 people there, but the best part was the apartment itself. This lady had legit Andy Warhol pieces on her wall, just chilling there in her living room. Million dollar pieces of art all over the fucking place.
There was one thing on the wall that looked like gigantic spoon without the handle. Shit must have been 5 feet by 3 feet. I asked her about it and she said it was by the same artist who did the giant silver coffee bean sculpture in Chicago. That shit is for sure with millions of dollars.
There are definitely people worth meeting at these events, and if I wasn’t such an idiot I would have spent time meeting them instead of talking to dumb girls. And I did schmooze with them a bit. But I didn’t have an actual plan for what I would help them with or try to get out of them. I was just schmoozing for the sake of schmoozing.
I think what I really need to do is better define what I actually want in these Jewish situations and work that angle when I go there. Maybe have a Shabbat dinner or something.
Inviting boring Jews to a boozy brunch is like inviting vapid Instagram models to a Shabbat dinner. There’s no appeal there. Square peg, square hole.
Anyway… this has nothing to do with microdosing LSD, but I will say that I am still feeling the effects from my daily dose. Increased energy, creativity and slight anxiety if my life isn’t going the way I want it to.
It’s even gotten to the point now where if I am at home by myself for ANY day of the week, I start to feel like I’m wasting my life. I think I actually need to start going out seven days a week just to keep myself sane. Even if it’s just to some stupid Jewish event or something. I think I might up my dose to 20mcg/day and see what that does for my state of mind.
One of the other interesting things about this course is that Luke says that you need to put yourself in the same physical locations as the people you want in your life. Again, sounds fucking obvious when you say it like that, but how many of us actually do it?
Let’s even disregard the fact that most people haven’t even defined what it is they WANT. Which, by the way, Luke recommends creating a vision board in one of his modules for this very purpose.
I made a vision board about a week ago and let me tell you, that shit is fucking amazing. It’s so inspiring looking at that shit that I made it the home screen on my phone. It’s the picture at the top of this post.
But once you’ve actually clearly defined what it is that you want, all of a sudden it becomes much easier to actually take steps to get it. Once again, this amazingly simple-stupid solution comes from the world of software programming. Define what you want and then create a solution to get it. Easy.
The reason I bring this up is that I’ve been thinking about joining a Muay Thai gym. Currently I go to a gym called Blink Fitness, which is a super basic $25/month gym that has all the shit you need to get a workout. Not fancy by any means but it gets the job done.
And on the one hand, you can totally come from the point of view that spending $25 on a basic membership is better value than spending $150/month on a Muay Thai gym, even allowing for the differences in benefits from each type of workout.
But does the MT gym have the type of people I want to surround myself with in my life? I guess you could say that being around a bunch of bad ass dudes who can kick some physical ass if the need arises has some merit to it. And there’s definitely something to be said about the emotional liberation you feel after 2 hours of punching and kicking (and getting punched and kicked).
But are those REALLY the type of people I want in my life?
Wouldn’t it be BETTER to surround myself with high net worth individuals, D-list celebrities and wanna-be Instagram models? Shouldn’t I fork up $250/month for a membership at Equinox Soho instead? After all, they do have eucalyptus towels and free Kiehls body cream in the locker room.
Again, it’s not the actual value in terms of the material benefits of what you get in exchange for what you pay. I can get virtually the same workout at Blink that I can at Equinox for 1/10 of the price. But what I don’t get at Blink are people that can afford to pay $3000/year for a gym membership.
When I was a massive loser in LA 2-3 years ago, the only good thing I had in my life was my Equinox membership. And because I was paying up the ass for it, I made sure to go there every day – even if I didn’t want to work out. I wanted to get my money’s worth.
And the people I met there were all high quality people. Business owners, high end realtors, lawyers, finance guys, trophy wives, even a few celebrities. Magic Johnson used to work out there as did Hillary Swank.
I was for sure the brokest person in there by a wide margin. I think I even made less than the undocumented Mexicans cleaning the locker room.
But the amount of connections that I made there were priceless. I was regularly offered jobs, once even for a major real estate firm in LA by a young guy who I befriended just from stretching a few times together after a workout. I wasn’t even trying to meet people or make connections, that shit just happened. If I knew then what I knew now…
The question then becomes, well how can I justify $250/month for another gym membership. In my case it’s not particularly difficult, as all I need to do is bring in one or two more clients who will cover that cost for me. And if I STILL want to join the MT gym on top of that, let’s say it’s another 1 or 2 clients on top of that.
If I put some work into it, I can get 4 clients in a week. That’s not particularly difficult to do. And I have kind of been slacking off lately. Since automating my entire workflow I pretty much only work for 1-2 hours a day. Today maybe a little more but that’s just because I’m writing this stupid thing.
But THEN it begs the question: do I even really want to stay in New York long enough to justify a one year commitment to Equinox? The weather is getting colder, and soon enough I’ll have to actually buy winter clothes. And club clothes.
I’m going to have to make an investment into staying here if I actually want to. Part of me does. Part of me wants to try all this SCBP 2.0 shit, going out every night and wearing nice clothes and really just fucking letting go and going for it. But I can’t help but still be a little scared. I know the fear is irrational because deep down I really do believe that if I just let go of all my mental bullshit that I can crush it in the real world and not just from behind a computer screen.
But still.. that means letter go of the previous iteration of myself, the digital nomad beach bum who chases the summer around the world, never settling in one place and DEFINITELY not in a concrete jungle with no nearby beaches and shitty weather.
Part of me wants to say, “oh Papi, it’s just for a little while. Just try it for a few months. Maybe a year. If you hate it you can just leave. Just join Equinox. Go out every night. Buy your cunty club clothes and run your CIA-level subterfuge to pretend like you know people who travel on private jets. Just try it. You’re fucking 35 years old bru. Stop pretending like you’re going to live forever because you’re not. Time is running the fuck out. So drink your fucking wheat grass, pick up your balls and jump into the fire like you used to tell all those butter chicken loving motherfuckers on Steemit back when you still had access to free Vitamin D.”
So scary. But then again, it’s Halloween.